There is nothing more soul-depleting than being a people-pleaser. It is likely that most people will take advantage of you. It is also likely that they will disrespect you.
The desire to please other people is often rooted in negative childhood experiences. You could, for example, have a parent who was always disapproving of your behavior. It would be necessary for you to adjust your behavior in order to avoid disapproval.
You can, however, overcome this mentality through self-awareness. To put an end to your people-pleasing mindset, here are few tips.
Create a conscious awareness of the unconscious
The first step toward stopping negative thinking patterns is to recognize that they exist in the first place. This can be accomplished by visualizing yourself as if you were outside yourself. Think objectively, not as you would normally interpret your thoughts, and observe what you are thinking. This process is called Metacognition, which is when we recognize we are aware of what we’re doing.
Try this technique whenever you feel obligated to please others. Being aware allows you to rethink and adjust how you’re about to respond, rather than just going through the motions.
Don’t forget to be mindful of your body too. Feel free to observe your posture, breath, mannerisms, and how you feel at this particular moment. Your body posture has a significant impact on your mental state.
Those who communicate timid body language will probably respond in a timid and people-pleasing manner. You should adopt a more authoritative posture consciously. Make sure you straighten and take a deep breath, fill your lungs, then exhale confidently.
In addition to strengthening your response to other people, changing your body language will help you deal with your own negative thoughts.
Affirmations can be helpful
In order to rewire your mind, affirmations are extremely useful. When you are at home, you may like to try saying them aloud. In comparison to simply reciting them in your mind, this is more powerful. If you are having difficulty finding examples online, you may wish to write your own. Here are some inspirational ideas:
The life I live is mine and I do not require the approval of others to live it.
Eventually, she/he will be able to move on. People will understand if the person truly cares.
What other people think of me is irrelevant. The most important thing is what I think of myself.
There is no need for me to make others happy in order to be happy; my happiness is independent of other people’s happiness.
Let's stop asking for approval
Recognize that you need other people’s approval. It is important to remember that when you seek approval from another individual, you are truly giving him or her the power to give or take away value from your life. Havingthis much power shouldn’t be in the hands of anyone other than you. A third party’s approval is not needed.
It is likely that people will take advantage of you if they perceive you to be always available.
Put your time at the top of your priority list. You should develop the habit of announcing your busy status rather than taking time out of your schedule to attend to others. Take the initiative to place yourself at the top of your priority list.
Accept criticism without fear
According to Winston Churchill, “You have enemies?” Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
You will always encounter critical people regardless of what you do. Another option is to live in total isolation or follow the majority’s path.
Taking criticism in stride is fine, and some of it will be beneficial. Embrace the helpful and reject the rest.
Saying “No” in a straightforward manner is important. It is far more respectable to say “No” without justifying or apologizing.
Try to keep your answers simple and blunt from now on. You should maintain a calm and polite tone of voice. Just remember.. People will make it difficult for you to refuse if you come out with a vague answer when saying no.
Remove all narcissists and sociopaths from your life!
You should become aware of those who drain you and take steps to gradually cut them out of your life. Keep in mind that narcissistic people and sociopaths come in disguise in order to deceive you. In order to make the most out of yourself, you need to be very careful about how others use you for their own benefit.
Putting up with toxic people who exploit you permanently only reinforces your people-pleasing habit. Put your trust in yourself and look after yourself in a way that makes you feel as though you deserve to be around better people.
Visualize the transformation you want to bring about
“You are more productive by doing fifteen minutes of visualization than from sixteen hours of hard labor.” Abraham Hicks
Feel positive, stand tall, and be confident as you envision yourself.
Taking control of your time is important to you, and you say no to unproductive tasks.
As a result, you are surrounded by people who value and respect you and want the best for you.
Stay with these positive images in your head for as long as you can. This is something you should do every day to bring massive changes to the health of your brain and body. In the end, you are the only one who has the power to make your own decisions because you are the one in control of your life. Remember that and you will do fine.