No matter how strong and healthy your relationship is, you’re going to run into common problems… but don’t worry, we’ve got a list of the most common problems couples face, and how to deal with them!
If your relationship is struggling, it doesn’t mean it’s over, just that it’s time to put some more effort into the weak spots. Read this guide for some tips on how to fix some common relationship problems that couples face.
Money, Money, Money
When we’re in the early stages of a relationship, certain aspects of our lives seem small. This happens a lot with money. Couples are so excited to discover who they are together, that they sometimes don’t even notice the less-glamorous parts. It’s so important to establish healthy money habits as a couple!
In most cases, money can cause problems in relationships, but the most common money-related problem is a mismatch between the couple in terms of ability to contribute and expectations.
This can be mitigated by embracing transparency as the best method of combating it. It is important to be able to talk openly and honestly about financial expectations with your spouse, without giving any judgments to one another. There is no one size fits all when it comes to money in relationships, so it is important to have an open communication about money in many relationships too, since we all bring our own ideas about it.
Trust
The most important element in any relationship that you may know is trust, and if trust in a relationship is broken, it does not only affect the relationship, but also our own burden and anxieties that we carry with us from previous relationships. As you probably know, trust is one of the most important parts of the relationship. When trust is broken in a relationship, it is not just the instances in which trust was broken that can impact trust.
As a couple, it is imperative to practice open communication in every area of life as well as feelings and expectations moving forward. This will take time, effort, compromises, and it is often necessary to seek counseling with a couple therapist if you want to build trust after a betrayal. It’s no secret that betrayal changes things and that the relationship has to change with it as well. In order to reach this goal, we might have to create new expectations concerning time spent together, how often relationship check-ins take place, and what each person needs in order to feel safe in their relationship.
As a result of a partner’s personal anxieties or unhappiness with previous relationships, trust is often threatened. Much of the work has to be carried out by the partner with the anxieties, but the other partner can assist by providing more assurance to the partner with the anxiety. As a means to sort through personal relationship anxieties and burdens, self-reflective activities like meditating, reading, traveling, walking and therapy can be used in conjunction with addressing specific behaviors like worrying excessively in a relationship that can be addressed. Never let your guard down when it comes to working towards greater trust!
Work-Life Balance
Keeping a healthy work-life balance is important for every person out there, but it might be one of the most difficult problems out of all of the common relationships problems. We live in a world where it is almost impossible for us to immerse completely ourselves in our work. A variety of communications tools are available to us, such as video conferences, emails, phone calls, text messages, and a host of other means of communication, which prevents us to take independent time from our work. In fact, this is one of the biggest problems that you will experience when you live with someone and they want to spend time with you as well.
It becomes more and more difficult as time goes on to juggle two schedules and two different sets of expectations at work, and holiday becomes even more valuable, yet very challenging at the same time.
In every position, there will be different expectations, but if you are serious about maintaining a healthy work-life balance, it is essential that you have time with your partner during which you both are completely “off” and giving each other some intended attention. Whether it’s time spent together at home or on a romantic getaway, the most important piece is always your intentional attention.
Fighting
Fighting as a couple takes a lot of skill, so learning how to fight fair as a couple is an essential skill that you will use throughout the whole course of your relationship as well as in your everyday life. There are many things to consider before engaging in a fight that don’t come naturally to most of us. As well as being beneficial in the short-term, being respectful and thoughtful to one’s partner in heated moments can also be beneficial in the long run, if one treats them with respect and thoughtfulness.
Getting into a fight is often followed by a lot of emotion, so be sure to calm yourself down before the emotions take over – take deep, slow breaths and remember that you are on the same team as your partner. Whenever possible, don’t bring up old hurts or bring up other issues and try to remain in the present. If you try to fix every conflict that has ever happened in your relationship at once, you will only lead to overwhelm and nothing will be resolved. Focus on one problem at a time.
In the event that you find yourself in a toxic relationship or are facing some of the red flags related to a relationship, it is not going to matter how well you can handle fighting within that relationship. No matter how calm, respectful, and present you are, if your partner is not being the same way with you, it will not be easy for you to manage conflict and reach a resolution. A couple’s relationship may seem stable at first, but if you and yours are able to take advantage of the art of healthy conflict, you will be on solid ground no matter what happens.
Communication
Having a healthy communication between two people is essential in maintaining a healthy relationship. We don’t always communicate well with each other, sometimes accusatory language or defensive reactions: “You are always…” or “I hate when you when you…” You are ruining….” Do any of these sounds familiar to you? These accusations do not help. The best way to communicate effectively is to use I-Centered language, slow down to listen carefully to what is being said and respond thoughtfully, instead of reacting quickly.
Often, when couples do not have healthy communication, they may avoid any hard conversations altogether, and that is not a good choice either, so finding a healthy way of communicating is crucial. The good news is that communication is a skill that can be improved with practice in order to become better at it. Furthermore, there are many wonderful books that you can get your hands on that will give you tips on how to improve the quality of your communication as a couple, as well as conversations starters that can help you practice what you have learned.
The use of other modes of communication is also important; do you know what your partner’s love language is? Is their love language words of affirmation, which they hear verbally to tell them how much you care about them, or are their love languages physical touch, where they feel your love through physical touch? You can ensure that you both communicate your love in a way that is most effective by knowing each other’s love languages.
Intimacy
Every long-term relationship needs intimacy (both mentally and physically), but it can be easily neglected in the everyday flurry of life. You can easily rekindle the romance in your relationship by bringing back flirting, one of the easiest ways to rekindle intimacy.
What memories do you have of the early days of the relationship? Do you remember all those playful, happy exchanges between you and your partner? Bring it back with some flirty texts! Whenever you feel like trying something new, you can start with a flirty text that reminds your partner that you still care about them and that they are still yours.
It can do wonders to spice things up, so try traveling together (you definitely need to be alone together), learning something new together, and changing things up in the bedroom: fun and festive holiday lingerie, anyone? An intimacy coach may be able to offer you some valuable advice. We have millions of ways to spice up your relationship in today’s world. Don’t forget to invest some time in it.