Being known by everyone is not the same as being loved. - Dean Koontz
There is no better feeling than being surrounded by close friends. It is always a relief to have them there when I need them. I celebrate with them when they are at the top of their game; on the other hand, I get them up again after they fall. Having friends in my life has made my life so much richer and more enjoyable.
In spite of this, it has not always been an easy journey throughout the entire process. I can think of only one example of one of my current best friends who used to be my worst enemy throughout all the years that I spent in school. Our strong friendship took years of work to build after years of anger and resentment. You have to work hard and dedicate yourself to creating a true friendship.
Having one true friend is better than having a bunch of fake ones
My past experiences with friends taught me a valuable lesson. Previously, I was a merchant banker working for one of the most prestigious and renowned banks in the world. I had a good job with a high public profile, and I was well-liked by many people in my circle of friends.
This was my impression, at least. After that, everything went south: I lost my job, and I fell into a deep depression.
My social standing plummeted, and all my friends left. That time was really stressful. Later, I got a call from a couple of people wanting to hang out. Being down, I couldn’t understand their motive.
One of my friends said, “Oh, I’ve wanted to hang out with you for a long time.”. But this is the first time you’ve called back. Despite the passing of time, these friends remain among my closest friends.
After going through that tough time, I learned you can miss out on real friendships if you only focus on your success and popularity. You’re more likely to make real friends when you’re vulnerable, humble, and completely authentic, as well as when you’re friendly and approachable.
Getting friends is tough, so what's the trick?
You don’t attract friends by what you do, you attract friends by how you think. As we change our view of others, we will be able to attract new friends who will be interested in our company.
It is incredibly tempting to focus on the faults of others in order to feel better about yourself. It’s because we often put other people down for the sake of attempting to lift ourselves up by putting them down. In fact, when we concentrate on what is lovely about other people, something magical happens: we begin to feel different about them, and they in turn begin to respond to us in a new, positive manner as a result of our attraction.
You can make friends quickly and easily by following these simple tips
Keep your eye on the bright side.
We are all imperfect in some way or another. Each of us has certain traits that make it difficult to live with us in the long run. There is an easy tendency to put all of our energy into the things that are difficult. As a substitute, look for the positives and the strong things in life. Whenever you start focusing on negatives, remind yourself you’re not perfect.
Maintaining a high social value while helping
In addition to being talented at what they do, popular people are also able to do things that other people cannot do, which is why they offer their help.
It is important to understand that being helpful entails some risk. A proper approach must be taken.
People are aware when someone is trying to please others by being helpful. A needy person is one who needs something back such as friendship, and this is a result of the fact that they need something in return.
Having fully informed yourself of the risks of appearing needy, and ensuring that you do not act as a needy person, and you do not allow yourself to be used for your talents, you can help others.
Don’t be afraid to help others.
I believe that it is really important to meditate on what you can do for your friends if you want to create lasting friendships. Take a moment to understand others’ needs. I have a friend who recently lost his job. It’s important to have help when things get tough. To help him out, I’ve shared job offers and good business ideas with him, just to make things easier.
Make sure you learn how to listen well
It’s hard to concentrate on what other people are saying when you’re thinking about what you’re going to say. Simply put, we are selfish in nature, so it is only natural that we focus more on ourselves than others.
It is not up to you to catch what you missed; it is up to you to hear what you hear, and to know what you missed. You can’t do that if you are distracted. This gives the impression that you are an excellent listener, when in fact you are not.
The worst part of the whole situation is when people interrupt their friends when they are talking just because they want to tell them something they are interested in hearing. Whenever this happens, people feel ignored by you and it can adversely affect their friendships.
Allow yourself to be relaxed
Being easygoing is one way to ensure that your friends enjoy spending time with you. Being positive and avoiding constant complaining are important. Regardless of how you connect with others, make sure you smile. Sharing your problems with others is a good thing, and it’s an essential step in forming close friendships. However, these serious discussions should be held at the appropriate time and place. It may help you to repeatedly discuss problems your friends are already aware of, but it is unlikely to improve the quality of your relationships with them.
Get rid of bad feelings.
Is it hard for you to let go of the way others treated you? Getting over negative thoughts about how someone hurt you or made you unhappy can be hard. This kind of negativity will harden your heart. It is therefore best to let them go and letyourself be absorbed by the beauty of your happy life.
Gratitude is the key to success.
There is a tendency to take our friends for granted, and it is easy to do so. In contrast, if you want to strengthen your friendships, you need to do the opposite kind of thing. Take the time to thank your friends and show your appreciation for them. In addition, you should be sure to express your thanks to them in words and through actions. Everyone loves being valued.