I have been praying and repenting of my sins. In the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I began writing down my sins from an early age. I’m thankful to God for allowing me to remember my sins so I could repent. My earliest memories are when I was 3 or 4 years old. I complained to my mom about the food she cooked. I remember hurting my friends and brother physically and mentally. Since I was little, I’ve been lying.
It’s like I’m hurting people everywhere I go, lying, and backstabbing. Lots of sins were committed. God allowed me to surround myself with family, friends, teachers, the pastor, and coworkers. To my surprise, I have been living a sinful life the whole time. I wasn’t great to study with, play with, or associate with. Worries and fears blinded my eyes and controlled my thinking. I had a long list of sins that went on and on.
The loneliness, fear, and worries led to so many lies, so many hating, gossiping, idolatry, self-worshipping, obscene acts.
I break down my memories into stages. I started writing my sins from my earliest memories to 10 years old, then my twenties and thirties. There was a time when I could have been more loving and caring, but I was living in sin, so I was unable to do so. The thing was that I was worshipping my own ego, pride, self-image, and whatever else was associated with me at the time. I had a lot of regrets when I looked back. Quite a few in fact. It would have been better if I had lived my life in a more spiritual way and stayed with Jesus all the time. Rather than living a holy life, I was living a sinner’s life. I have many regrets, but I’m so glad I can repent now and live a new life in Christ. I recommend writing your sin diary and learning about your sin so that you can repent. Your motives in life may also surprise you. Repenting to Jesus Christ will result in a new life that is mentally, physically, and spiritually satisfying. You will definitely be saved and you will feel spiritually alive.
Stay Jesus and God bless.