When you have a crush, you experience a variety of emotions. On the one hand, liking someone can be exhilarating and bring forth butterflies, sparks, and buzzes. In contrast, knowing that those feelings will never be reciprocated or acted upon can be excruciating.
When you are infatuated with someone, there are times when figuring out how to stop liking them becomes necessary. Here are some steps you can take to quiet the intensity of your feelings and help you begin the process of letting go and moving forward:
Don't just talk about it, do it.
First and foremost, and this is perhaps the most crucial aspect, you need to really want to stop liking this person. In order to be successful in moving on, you’ll need to let go of your secret hope that things will change or that your feelings will be reciprocated. If you do not put your full heart and soul into the actions below and really work hard, none of them will work.
And when you ‘do’ it, you’ve got to be patient.
When it comes down to it, you can’t really rush these things, as they need to be done in the right order. Cut yourself some slack and be patient with the process of getting over someone, as it takes time.
Stay away....
You need space before you can stop liking someone. Even though it might upset you to stop seeing this person, constant contact with them will make it harder to get over them. As a result of the constant stimulation and new experiences that you go through with them, you continue to be reminded of the reasons why he or she is so special to you, and even end up enhancing your feelings for that person as a result of that stimulation.
Cutting the power at the source is one of the most important things you can do. The more you can reduce the time you spend with this person, the better off you will be. Even if you are unable to avoid them completely, you should keep your distance from them when you’re sharing space with them. In order to keep things in check, keep your conversation to a minimum, and avoid spending any one-on-one time with them. It is important to note that you do not have to completely disregard them.
Try to reduce your time spent with this person at least temporarily if you don’t want to avoid this person because you’d be sad without them. It’s okay to let your feelings cool off before trying to be friends with this person again. You don’t have to cut them out of your life forever. Generally, friendships fluctuate over time, with some periods where you do not see each other as often. Let your friendship go through one of those periods without much contact, and trust that when you’re ready, you’ll be able to rebuild it.
Don't let anything trigger you.
You can cut off the fuel for your thoughts about someone by eliminating the things in your life that trigger these thoughts. On social media, make sure to unfollow them. Avoid them online as well as in person. Just stop texting them if you’re doing that, and stop checking their social media. If they post photos that will bother you inside, unfollow or mute them so you can’t see their posts on your timeline.
Make a list of rules to follow
Make a list of rules for yourself and follow them. The kind of conversations that breed intimacy—things like sharing life updates, feeling together, providing emotional support, or flirting—should be avoided even if you can’t completely avoid this person. Don’t get too specific, at least for now. You should be polite, but keep an arm’s length away from them.
Spend as little time as possible thinking. Put your energy into other things or parts of your life instead. Make sure you keep yourself busy and fill your life with other things to keep your mind occupied. There are times when meeting someone new is the best way to get over someone. You can inject some new energy into your life by getting involved with a new friend group, taking a class with a bunch of new people, or checking out dating apps. This will help you remember that there’s a lot more interesting people around you—maybe you’ll even find a new crush.
Be careful not to get sucked into fantasy and passion.
We have the ability to keep our minds glued to the ideas, thoughts, and feelings in our lives. The times when you find yourself replaying moments with this person in your head, thinking about things you like about them or hoping they will happen, or daydreaming about this person you are crushing on can lead you down a bottomless pit. In order to distract yourself from that thought, gently catch yourself whenever you do this and refocus on something else. It will be impossible to stop liking this person if we spend time in our own fantasies – that would be like spending time on their social media pages.
When it’s hard to stop thinking fantasy, take into account all the reasons why it might not work.
As a matter of fact, it’s very helpful to sit down and think about all of the reasons why a relationship with this person truly wouldn’t work out anyway—whether you have been ignoring red flags that have been raised in the past, differences in thinking, the impact it would have on your other relationships, or past experiences with this person that were not ideal.
It is not wrong to like someone but not to act upon it because there is nothing wrong with that. It’s okay to likesomeone quietly and privately without taking action as long as it doesn’t interfere with your day-to-day life or affect your own needs and you don’t negatively impact this person’s ability to live their life how they want to. Try to make peace with liking someone without needing them. We can still enjoy a person’s company while respecting their boundaries without reciprocating romantic feelings.
There is nothing wrong with liking someone but not doing anything about it. Just remember that.
In the end, it might be a good idea to take into consideration the fact that it is totally OK to like someone without doing anything about it.